I just want to lie back down. But there is coffee in the press and a bagel in my stomach. It’s four minutes to nine thirty. I woke up at nine today. I’m really changing things up. Already so sick of being awake though. Just want to lie back down.

There is a pumpkin cream cheese muffin sitting on my computer. I didn’t eat it when she gave it to me because I was playing Star Wars. I still can’t get myself to eat it, so I put it back in the plastic, planning on eating it tomorrow.

I use the force to merge myself with the day. The force flows through us all, including the soldiers on the battlefront that aren’t Luke Skywalker, or Darth Vader, or the emperor. Forget about midichlorians. The force flows through the galaxy. We are the force. We are more than murky matter. We are light and energy. The matter is an extension of us as it is an extension of the galaxy which we are an extension of. I am a Jedi knight of the holy grail. I have never gotten into a fight though. The Jedi are not supposed to attack. They are supposed to be in a calm state at all times. There is some dark force running through me. But the force wants balance. I’m trying to embody a balanced state. Still though, I’ve never gotten into a fight. I almost did though, at the World Trade Center, when my dad was trying to save that girl from being beaten up by her abusive boyfriend. That is something that a Jedi would do. Because I did that, I am more of a Jedi than I was before I did that.


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