We’re going to stay together. No one is going to tear us apart. She has half of my heart in her chest, and I have hers. I cannot afford a savage surgery. I have to prepare. The tempo and amplitude of the conversation is rising. We are at the kink. We’re stuck at the part where she’s telling me that I need to make sure that all of my work is perfect before sending it out, and I’m repeating to her that I am, and that that’s not the real issue. I’m not concerned about the quality of my work. I am a real writer. I show up everyday. I provide people with a little piece of my soul frequently. I’ve got books for sale on my site. I have gone over them and over again, and we have gone over this and over it again, and again. We are always getting stuck somewhere right around here. It’s not the issue, I say. She’s saying that I’m getting defensive, but I’m looking for the seeds here, the root of the problem, the clot in our conversational stream. I’m looking for help. I want to become the person that I need to become to make this work. I see the things that I could and should be doing daily, but they are separated by the kink, a bad connection. Bibles and Cameron. They need to come together. The lightning needs to flow right through. I can write through it. It’s the only way. But talking is a form of writing. It’s a coming to the forefront, a way of moving the scene along. We are the scene! I’ve said this before. I’ve seen it while I was on acid. Nine hits. Straight to the back of the skull and leaving me grinding my drooly teeth into the spinning aztec shapes on the carpet and in the walls. The ink. It is the life blood. Through it we can solidify the thoughts, the actions, the moment. Put it on record. Make it count, Cameron. Control your words. Make them work for you. Turn them into dollar bills. Feed your family. Bring them into the loop. Prosper them with your progression. Make these songs sound sweeter if you’re going to bring her into them. They know where she works, show her where you work. Give her something to wet herself with again. Magnetize your dick. Make the family. Show them that you are a man. Let the world see who you are. Start with her. Bring the bigger picture into the smaller circle. Let’s make her proud again. She deserves it. We both do.

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