There are tons of explicitly nude men on Chaturbate, but I’m not attracted to them. I want some Taylor Swift nipples, but they are extremely rare, much harder to come by than Kristen Stewart’s. It’s like an iron titty competition online among celebrities keeping their tops glued to their chests. Everybody looking down on those who finally let loose.

I had a dream that I was being chased by a serial killer with Kristen Stewart’s face, but you’ve all heard that one before.

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