I tell Jamie-Beth that I don’t like making excuses for my attitude, but if I’m going to, then this is it.

You’ve been nothing but perfectly pleasant to me, she says.

I appreciate the fact that my negative attitudes go unnoticed. I can only hope that the accountant has been so oblivious. She’s the one who’s gotten the most on my nerves, as I’m sure you’re all aware.

She’s a weird dude, so I’ve got to start taking control of the situation, but it feels like being mean to her is the same as being mean to Musette, who was fired under similar circumstances.

I will never forget her crying in the car; I’ll never forget walking the plank of Strand – but there are differences between their situations. It’s not just that she’s controlling, even though that’s what rubs me the most wrong. She ditched work today because she couldn’t deal with the boss. They had been arguing about water pressure. There are contractors working on the other side of the street, and they had punctured a line. The accountant was asking my boss if he could confirm that it was busted. I could. I was the one who went to the salon. I was the one who was told that it would be back in an hour. My boss didn’t want to have to explain himself. He shouldn’t have to. He owns the place.

We’re all better than what we portray. Help is needed. Why do you have to be rude? I’ve got to take a long drive. Our heads need to depressurize.

Working through technicalities, and searching for inspiration, is an easy way of getting out of what you’re here to do, says my Preceptor.

He’s not always right. He doesn’t always know what he’s talking about.

The way out is our future, he says. Call me what is right and natural.

I try to explain that I’m not putting fuel into the machine because I’m spending so much time trying to get it smooth and functional, and I already know what you’re going to say…

It doesn’t have to be so complicated. Just let go, bibles.

It doesn’t seem like I can do anything right… I hint at stop vaping, and you hate me. I mean, you look like the girl who was just getting pumped by the cum dumper; now you’re being slammed by a bbc in front of your cuckold husband. You are a course on how to be both cruel and undeserving.

I always saw her as one of those case studies on how to fail at your job, says Jake.

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