I know that you’re not doing alright, and I don’t want to hear about why, I say, turning back to tumblr. I’ve never had the time. I didn’t give myself the time. And I don’t pity you for not having the time either.

Shop now, lunatic man, says an ad, popping up and filling out my screen.

If I was in your shoes I’d step out of them, says another.

It’s just going to be ten minutes today, I say, starting the clock again as I follow Musette around. She’s dripping hot liquid onto my keys from her leaky butthole. It’s not poo, she says, and I tell her that I know that it’s not. I’m not an idiot. I am the bitter king who doesn’t like to see all of these faggots prouncing around.

Jake made fun of me, thinking that I didn’t know the difference between fried chicken and chicken strips, and I told him to be fair, chicken strips are also fried. The bone is not the thing that determines whether or not it’s fried.

There are two females in the store somewhere, I say, and Jamie-Beth looks at me like she wants to kill me. I’ve only heard women called that by someone who was speaking derogatorily about them, she says.

It can’t be any worse than women or ladies, I say. Can it? I mean, my brain defaults to scientific categorization when every other options is flagged inappropriate.

We’re not pieces of meat, and we’re not all from Africa, says Jamie-Beth, pointing to the sign I made up that reads “African-Americans in the West.”

Not all dark skinned people are from Africa, she says. Some of them are from South America.

Should I have left it as “Blacks in the West?”

All I know is that I heard a conservative group use that phrase, and they had to be wrong because they are conservatives.

From what I’ve read, “African-Americans” is the most appropriate term, I say.

But what about your scientific reasoning? Where is your god now?

I don’t know… It keeps me up at night. Blacks seems as bad as Jews, but I haven’t officially been told that I can’t call them that yet either, so why would I feel comfortable making a section labeled “Jews in the West?”

I wouldn’t, but I’ve got to admit that there’s a certain ring to it. It sounds better than saying “Jewish People in the West”.

I’m all about the cutting of both words and crap. Nobody wants to waste time, and the accountant doesn’t want me wasting tape.

I could call it “The Black West”, I say, proceeding to think that people would think that I was making a joke of the whole thing, and I can’t just eradicate the section. Lord knows I’ve thought about it. I even tried it once, and I’ll never hear the end of it. We’ve gotten in trouble before for not properly labeling. I can’t hand the task over to Jake. He’s South American. It’s not his problem. If I called his people blacks, would they take it out on me? Would they get up in my face? Would they teach me the lesson? Would I get crucified on social media? Would it be worth it? Would it feel the same kind of relieving like taking a thick shit?


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