Oops, my leg just fell asleep while I was masturbating to a Naomi Watts compilation. Don’t get @ me. This works for me. Call it my routine. I’d like to hold onto it, if that’s alright. I’m well aware that people change, but I’d like to remain like this for at least a little while longer.

It’s my prayer. Everything a prayer. Everything writing. Learning experiences all around.

You’re such a stylist, says Manny, and I’ll admit that I portray a certain swagger. I get my words from point a to point b in style. My mind looks good on the page.

Why don’t you just shut up, yells a woman who is holding her dog in the corner, sticking her ass out to me. She’s wearing a floral summer dress, and I do my best to ignore her as I step into the elevator.

You’ve got to understand, all of this goes into the case report. You’ve got to live it to solve it. Such things as inductions don’t come around every day, and we’re set to deliver one week early. It’s a night time check in. First step, ripen the cervix. Cervidil: that’s what it’s called. Doctor recommended, mother approved. They insert it into the vagina. The string hangs out like a tampon. It sits there for twelve hours. The doctors hope for us to get a little rest during this time.

The midwife is very sexy, and even though it is tough breaking the medical wall, I am able to implant some fantasy into the situation, her fingers deep in Musette’s pussy, pushing against the baby’s head, back and forth to the tune of Musette’s moaning.

It wasn’t always this easy though, I say, flipping to the future which finds me carrying a full pail of diapers down the hallway to the trash chute, and then flipping back to the the past which finds me carrying my USPS sealed manuscript out of my parents’ house.

They are trying, on the day that we are being induced, to get me to pick things out for a yard sale that they’re having.

Let us know what you want, they’re saying, so that we can sell the rest.

I’m agonizing over chess sets, dvds, my bad taste in music, etc.

I don’t know, I say. None of it matters. I have to give up my old life to move on to this next stage. I am thirty years old now. This is really happening.


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