[4:49:03 PM]Savage Ckhild:

BIBLES!

[4:49:17 PM]bibles:

Hi

[4:49:18 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Are you receiving me?

[4:49:21 PM]bibles:

Yes

[4:49:24 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Hell yes

[4:49:47 PM]bibles:

We’re on the record.

[4:50:03 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I’m scared

hahhahahha

[4:53:19 PM]bibles:

What are you scared of?

[4:53:38 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I ain’t scared of nothin’ except cops, stds, and heights

we can keep that on the record hahah

[4:56:25 PM]bibles:

Are you worried about being neglected?

[4:57:05 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Not at this point in time, I feel very secure in how I’m moving forward in my life and art, but I do think that I have struggled with that my whole life

to die an unknown, to remain unloved, to be searching for something outside myself by older age is actually a fear I’ve had

I’m facing it

[4:58:01 PM]bibles:

What are you doing to face it?

[4:59:05 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Well I believe putting out this book is a step forward. It’s me taking control of my future and introducing the works I’ve put my heart into for a new audience.

Being dropped by DW was really disappointing but I think it should be read, I believe strongly in that.

I like the idea of being published by other people not just because it’s good to have a backing but because it saves space/resources when people are selling what they’ve printed and aren’t necessarily starting their own press

but right now, I am feeling like starting my own is going to be a real statement

a little risk financially a big risk socially

also deciding to go to art school is another step foward for me in facing my fears

[5:09:20 PM]bibles:

What are your plans for art school?

[5:10:41 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I want to become as great an artist as Tanino Liberatore, the artist behind RanXerox, and be able to make comics or animation but with high quality visuals, like anime

Be able to do book covers and album art and portraiture for people

hopefully get back into script writing and cartoons

I used to write scripts with my brother before I became a writer

like literary writer*

— Monday, March 18, 2019 —

[3:37:21 PM]bibles:

What does your brother do?

[3:37:51 PM]Savage Ckhild:

He’s a musician, everyone in my family is pursuing art

He lives in Tokyo and is playing in a band ‘Migraine Pilots’ after ‘Ugly Girl’s disbanded.

[3:38:19 PM]bibles:

Is your mom an artist?

[3:38:25 PM]Savage Ckhild:

No my mom is the only ‘non-artist’ she’s passionate about cooking and poetry

My Dad is a writer too

I think that’s what made writing real for me was my Mom and Dad reading to me at such a young age and teaching us how to read so early

I remember in school everyone telling me I had ‘advanced reading skills’ which is funny because I feel like such a slow reader haha

[3:43:37 PM]bibles:

I’m listening to ugly girls.

[3:45:00 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Let me link u

[3:45:30 PM]bibles:

I’m listening to a song called Cancer

[3:45:57 PM]Savage Ckhild:

https://uglygirl.bandcamp.com/album/bad-weird

Ugly Girl

Bad Weird, by Ugly Girl

10 track album

Sorry, I mistyped, it’s ‘Ugly Girl’ singular

My brother did the art for it

There’s audio clips of me screaming in a few of these songs

He goes by Hippy Jonny

[3:54:48 PM]bibles:

Your brother is hippy Jonny?

[3:55:05 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Yeah, it’s from a Modern Lovers song

He’s the singer and drummer of Ugly Girl

My other brother Jacob is making music in LA as well

He’s been like reblogged by/promoted by Soulection online

That group is important to a lot of people into R n B and hip hop/neo soul

[4:02:02 PM]bibles:

How many siblings do you have?

[4:19:06 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I have 4 brothers total

— Thursday, March 21, 2019 —

[8:50:16 AM]bibles:

Where can we find some of your dad’s writing? Is it up anywhere online?

[10:42:27 AM]Savage Ckhild:

I’m not super close with my dad

He’s coming out with a book soon

Hahaha

[11:36:43 AM]bibles:

Who’s releasing it?

[11:37:45 AM]Savage Ckhild:

I have no idea! We’re not even friends on Facebook

Someone in my family will eventually tell me hahah

[11:38:52 AM]bibles:

Does he know about your book that’s coming out?

[11:39:39 AM]Savage Ckhild:

He doesn’t, I’d be really shocked to know what my dad thinks of my art

[11:40:04 AM]bibles:

Pretend that I’m your dad, and explain your book to me.

[11:42:10 AM]Savage Ckhild:

Hahaha! Okay

My book ‘Until You Admit You Love Someone’ is a book about a lot of my passing romantic relationships, and a lot of poetry that I was writing during my darkest times including a book that was pulled by Dostoyevsky Wannabe which is what this collection is named after

It’s romantic and dramatic and dark

Not for the faint of heart

[11:47:12 AM]bibles:

So, is it, like, a combination of multiple books? Like an omnibus,

[11:47:27 AM]Savage Ckhild:

Absolutely

The first book is called @abigfuckingbully

If you weren’t my dad I would describe this book as Henry Miller style fucktales

Hahahha

[11:54:37 AM]bibles:

Do you think that your dad and you have different writing styles?

[12:01:28 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I haven’t read much by him but my guess is yeah

He’s openly comedic while my stuff is funny in a different way

[12:01:53 PM]bibles:

Your style is not for the faint of heart?

[12:03:35 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Tbh most of what I write is light and Poppy as far as the fiction goes

But the poetry is def influenced by hardcore

Very smash and grab

A lot of it taken from diaries

A lot of it about girls

I’d say the content of the fictions aren’t for the faint of heart

I saw people like Lucy K and Sarah Jean making these pretty and romantic relationship stories and I wanted to try my own

But mine were kind of twisted/sad

Hopefully not in a typical sad boy way or just as tear jerking but just cause that’s how I felt at the time

[12:06:18 PM]bibles:

And how is that supposed to be considered funny?

[12:11:42 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I think the character is, at least in the writing, has this kind of healthy/cocky distance from everything

Which is how I am in real life

I laugh a lot of the worst parts of life off and keep going

Hahaha

[12:13:56 PM]bibles:

What was it that caused dw to reject the namesake work?

[12:19:13 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I made the mistake of following them on Twitter, we became mutuals, then I posted these Tweets…

They weren’t even that bad

but they we’re ‘alarmed’ by my ‘potential attitudes towards women’

One tweet was about how I hate interacting with men who are defensive of their female friends and how being that way makes me want to be a sexist dick

One was a joke about how the things I’ve done to get with women would make your skin crawl

One was an actual religious beliefs (thought I was Buddhist for a long time) that even serial killers tho they enjoy killing are dissatisfied being who they are

That serial killers on a spiritual level want to be good despite their evil

And then one was being kind of macho and talking about how I fucked a girl after yelling at her from the opposite side of

the subway

She visited me at work three times after that

Hahahaa

That’s it

[12:31:34 PM]bibles:

So, it didn’t have anything to do with the contents of the book?

[12:32:51 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Not at all

I added a bunch of stuff to the book tho

All the stuff I was writing at Heavy Athletics

[12:58:25 PM]bibles:

So, DW was cool with the contents of the book, and they were going to publish it, but then you tweeted stuff that they deemed misogynistic, and they chose to drop you?

[1:04:59 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Exactly

[1:08:11 PM]bibles:

Do you consider yourself a misogynist?

[1:11:43 PM]Savage Ckhild:

They didn’t even talk about it they just sent me this annoying email

No I wouldn’t consider myself that

I think I internalized that guilt for a while and it actually made me want to produce more misogynistic shit

[1:15:12 PM]bibles:

What was the gist of the dw email?

[1:18:40 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I think my work does ‘flirt with misogyny’ as one editor put it

Let me find that email for you

[1:47:07 PM]Savage Ckhild:

sorry trapped at work

[2:18:51 PM]Savage Ckhild:

[6:54:59 PM]bibles:

Alright, we’ll, we don’t need to drag them through the mud. They can publish what they want. I’m sorry that that fell through for you, but we’re getting more of a director’s cut of your book because of it, right?

[6:57:22 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Yeah you’re right, you’re getting a lot more work in higher quality print and I’m getting my own $$$$$$$

Hahahah

It’s a better book

[6:58:06 PM]bibles:

How has the self-publishing process been for you thus far?

[6:58:39 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I like it. It’s expensive but doable

The books got in a day early

[6:59:12 PM]bibles:

Did you receive a print run or is it printed on demand?

[6:59:38 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I decided to a print run, I ordered 50 copies

[7:00:37 PM]bibles:

I guess that we’d better get this interview up then, huh?

[7:02:08 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Hell yeah hahahah

[7:02:22 PM]bibles:

Before we go, why should people buy this book?

[7:03:42 PM]Savage Ckhild:

It’s creation is a beautiful story of love and desire. An ambitious creation by an untameable man. It’s what you’re thirsty for but didn’t know yet…

[7:06:24 PM]bibles:

Do you have a link for where you’re selling it yet?

[7:07:06 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Not yet I have to set up shop tonight online. I have to figure out how to embed a pay pal button and give my Venmo address

If you have tips lemme know

[7:12:41 PM]bibles:

I don’t have any tips. I don’t get any tips. Just let me know when you’ve got that link. This thing can’t go live without it.

[7:13:26 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Tell people to Venmo me $20– @atticus-davis

and email me their address safely: atticus.davis.1990@gmail.com

Also accept PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/atticusdavis

PayPal.Me

Pay using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/atticusdavis and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it’s easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

[7:19:35 PM]bibles:

Alright. Cool. Is there anything else that you want to say before we go live?

[7:20:26 PM]Savage Ckhild:

I want to say thank you bibles. I also want to say thank you to everyone who’s here right now supporting my art and my book. Thank you for being here, happy to share this world with you.

[7:23:34 PM]bibles:

Alright. Great. You’re welcome. Break a leg, bud.

[7:23:47 PM]Savage Ckhild:

Hahaha

[7:23:58 PM]bibles:

😉

I had puke on both shoulders and running down the leg of my shorts. I lost my patience many times that day. I kept mumbling and murmuring towards the changing table. I was sitting on the couch endlessly bouncing the baby on my knee, cursing my wife, with a rotary of hatred behind my longing for her to get up and over herself.

I feel like I’m watching my dream run away from me, I tell her.

All of the time that used to go into writing is being buried by family. She doesn’t work anymore. The baby cries forever and requires two hands to hold. She never wants to go to sleep. You put her in her bassinet, hoping to release yourself from the torment, only to find that you’ve got another hour on your hands of screaming as you move the pacifier back and forth in her mouth.

It’s the day after my birthday, or the day after that. My brother in law and his wife have arrived into town. They flew in last night. My mother and father-in-law picked them up at the airport. They are staying with my mother-in-law and Violence while they are here, and they are already getting frustrated with them–especially my brother-in-law.

Are they always like this, he asks, after having been up since seven and finally leaving the apartment at four.

I didn’t switch my days off for this. As you know, my wife’s birthday and mine are a week apart, and she has a twin, so we were planning on celebrating our birthdays on the 28th, but then my wife came down with a stomach bug.

It’s been a rough couple of days. She’d messaged me when she’d woken up, telling me that she’d thrown up, and then she’d continued messaging me throughout the day, telling me how hard of a day she was having. I messaged her, telling her that I was going to have to take a late lunch. There were errands that I had to run for the shop. I had, however, gotten her a gift while at work. I’d come upon it while working my way through the stack of books that I had piled in front of my desk. It’s called Baby’s First Book, and it’s from Beatrix Potter. It is filled with illustrations, and it’s still in its original plastic wrap from the seventies.

I don’t know what I expected. Her mom was there when I arrived. My wife was doubled over. She couldn’t speak. She threw up once while I was there. I showed her the present, but she didn’t open it. She just shook her head and slept for the rest of the day.

That left me to take care of the baby. My mother-in-law handed her over to me, then she put some corn dogs in the oven and left before they finished cooking. There’s milk in the fridge, she’d told me, which I wasn’t happy about because refrigerated milk only lasts for a half an hour after heating it, and it takes five minutes to heat up.

It can be tough telling if a baby is hungry or if they want something else. You can’t force them to eat. You end up with wasted milk: liquid gold as my wife calls it.

I’m getting wrapped up in the job. That’s what’s happening. I’ve been making sale after sale, day after day. Things with the accountant are getting tense. She and Jake got into a yelling match the other day. I was in the back talking with Estelle about it when the accountant’s mom walked by, dropping something off for her daughter. I had just finished saying that maybe we could infuriate the accountant enough to make her quit.

When the accountant came back, she had a nasty look on her face. She didn’t say hello to us. Estelle told her that her mother came by, and the accountant said that she knew, that she had already spoken with her.

She passed by my side of the counter and told me that a pile of books that had been stacked there for over a month needed to go. I was on the phone. It wasn’t me that had put the books there. I had fought long and hard to keep that area clean. It was the boss had done it. He’s always taking advantage of open counter space. She knows this. It’s one of her main frustrations with him.

The next day, she’s not in the office. She’s taking two days off. There’s no word of where she is or what she’s doing, and that’s fine. While she is gone, we all gather and talk about her. There is the serious question of what we should do. Should we tell our boss how we feel about her? He loves her too much. This isn’t just some temp. This is one of his original employees. Someone who had walked out after our boss had made some unreasonable purchase or other. And now she’s back, here to reinvent the wheel again and save the day. She’s gotten under all of our skin, and she’s en route to making Jake quit.

He had put a request for time off on the calendar on the week before Christmas. He meant to tell the accountant, but she ended up yelling at him about something else, and so he forgot. The accountant found Jake’s written time off on the calendar, and he was told that it was impossible, he couldn’t go. No way. Nobody can take those days off. It’s the busiest time of the year. We need all hands on deck.

She brought the matter to our boss, in her distinctive distorted human resources manager manner, and he agreed that it was impossible, so Jake was then presented with an ultimatum.

Jake’s boyfriend’s mom had already bought him the ticket. She’d surprised him with it. He’d told her at the time that it might not have been the best idea, that his work might not be happy about it, but it was too late; she couldn’t return it.

Now Jamie-Beth is planning an intercession. She thinks that she is the accountant’s favorite. She took the accountant out for drinks one time. The accountant had told her that she reminded her of a friend of hers.

What do you mean, Jamie-Beth had asked.

The accountant had told her that it was nothing. You’re just intense, is all.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, Jamie-Beth tells us, but never intense. Do you think that I’m intense, she asks.

It’s definitely not the first word I’d use to describe you, I tell her.

Here she is, going into battle against the monster, and I switched my Saturday for Sunday, because Jamie-Beth may not be intense, but I have a feeling that her battle with the accountant is going to be.

She has a virgin butthole. We had to go to surgery. The doctor didn’t make us, but we had met our deductible because of the baby; so we only had one shot, and Musette had dreamed of this moment. She’d never forgive herself for not taking the opportunity, but she’d be able to forgive herself should it go bad.

So far it hasn’t though. She’s still numb. I picked up high dose Ibuprofen for her while her family was at our apartment, gas leaking from her ass uncontrollably.

We have a prescription for Norcos on file that we didn’t pick up because opioids get into breast milk.

The woman who entered the prescription was the most furious typist that I have ever seen, and I thought that I was bad, but with me, I’m slamming down notes from the stratosphere–she was just entering prescription information.

The keyboard is the reason that I don’t write into my phone as much as some others do. You would think it a currentivist staple, a necessity, to write from one’s phone, but it doesn’t have the same effect–it doesn’t feel like beating something out of you. Writing from a phone is like a wrestling match; writing from a computer is like a boxing match.

But I’ve got to take what I can get. Anything is better than a drought. It’s not like you can tell the difference anyways.

Right hand, left hand: gotta be ambidextrous now that there is a baby in the picture, a bottle in one of my hands, nothing to do but think while I sit here in the dark, so I might as well do it out loud.

All I need is your report, says Lestrade.

I’d like to think that I’m working on it, but to say that would not just be lying to myself but lying to you as well, and when I’m lying to you, and you know that I know that I’m lying, well, that’s the worst kind of lie that I can tell, as a writer, a currentivist, the currentivst supreme.