Craig, one of my managers who goes by the name ‘Nightmare Squad’, shows me how to stock mass market classics. He says that it’s okay that I don’t know how to do it already because nobody in the store seems to know how, and he would really like to get someone trained the right way.

I tell him that I really like the mass market classics, and I want to be his man. Mass market classics are the wave of the future. Sweeping the nation. I swear to God, you’re going to see them in Vogue. You can’t fake style. You either have it or you don’t.

“I mean, you can fit ‘em right in your pocket! And they’re fifty cents a piece! You can’t beat it, really you can’t.”

He laughs and pats me on the shoulder, calling me a weird dude.